Well, I was going to save this for a "highlighted video of the week," but I decided to post it today. If I miss one later, this will make up for it.

The reason that I'm posting this early is that I want to establish how I found out about them before anyone else. Many times I've seen bands and knew they were going to be great well ahead of anyone (Korn, Limp Bizkit, Deftones, The White Stripes, for example) and nobody believes me. This band is a little different. They will not be big because their studio production sucks. However, live they are amazing, as the clip shows. The reason I'm posting it today is that I heard them on the radio for the first time and I didn't want to be accused of following the bandwagon later. I actually saw them about a month ago on David Letterman. Here it is...try to appreciate it without the hype:
TV on the Radio

MORE OF-LESS OF #2!

More Of: Freshly Baked Bread

Mmm...delicious.

Less Of: Quentin Tarantino Movies

I really don't understand why Tarantino is popular recently. He makes HORRIBLE movies. Now, I can understand why the rabble might enjoy his films: grotesque violence, almost no plot, and David Mamet style dialogue (aka. lots of pointless profanity that goes nowhere). What I don't understand is that relatively intelligent people that I agree with on most other things seem to, not just tolerate, but love his movies. You'd think he was an emperor wearing invisibile clothes. Why don't people see that these movies are horrible?

To be fair, cinematically, Tarantino movies are superb. Yet, I doubt that's why people watch them. In any case, good camera work doesn't make up for stupid everything else. All form and no substance
Also, to be fair, Pulp Fiction was a well constructed plotline. Unfortunantly, this movie is basically unwatchable. Except for the occasional great scene (Samuel Jackson quoting from the bible, John Travolta dancing, "If any of you f*uckers move, I'll execute every motherf*cking last one of you," etc. are all classic) most of the movie is slow and/or painful to watch.
Every other one of his movies, however, seem to be missing a plot. Why Kill Bill needed two volumes is beyond me. This all brings me to my main criticism: in case you haven't noticed all of Tarantino's movies are INCREDIBLY slow. To make up for a lack of a cohesive plot, Tarantino just throws in pointless violence. Sometimes I think it's the other way around; it's a series of violent images with some plot thrown in.

By the way, since Tarantino is SO popular, he has even gone so far as to add the tagline "Presented by Quentin Tarantino" in some of his friends movies. Hostel (which from what I've heard is another terrible movie) for example had this line. This is despite the fact that Tarantino had almost nothing to do with the movie. Once it was produced he bankrolled it for production so that he could be one of three producers. Thus, we get "Presented by Quentin Tarantino." Sounds like a lot of BS to me. Another example is Sin City, in which Tarantino appears as a "guest director." Apparently you can be a "guest director" if you direct one car chase scene. What, the actual directors (yes, there were two others) couldn't handle this one scene? They had to pass it on to Tarantino? I guess Tarantino is so popular that the makers of Sin City thought they could get more people to come if they put his name on it. Well, I hope I'm not the only one who was less interested.

Another incredible weekly feature???!!!

That's right...another announcement. From now on, every Wednesday will be "Highighted Video of the Week" day in which I will provide a clip that I recommend all my readers to watch. No!...this is nothing like Oprah's book of the month. This is much much better. On an unrelated note, my new weekly magazine "Machiavelli" will be coming out in a few days, as well.

Even though I'll do this every Wednesday, because I'm trying to take that number one spot on the Kazakh 10, this time I'll release it early. So here you go, the first "Highlighted Video of the Week." Let me know if there are any problems.

Great news today: after little more than a week, this site already has more than 2 billion hits! Not bad.

I thought that as a reward to my loyal fans, I would answer some of the e-mails I have received. In fact, I have an

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:

from now on every Tuesday I will answer some e-mails in what I call "The Greatest Mailcall Ever Contrived."

So, let's get started.
Johny T from Jacksonville, Montana writes.
"Why is this site so great? Why can't more blogs be as informative and captivating?"
Geez, you guys don't have to grill me, you know. Well, to be honest, making a great successful blog requires hard work, rare genius, and a brilliant idea. Luckily all three have come together in my site. You can't really blame those other sites that aren't as lucky or gifted ("Robert's Rules of Order," for example.)

Sam Thompson from Tampa Bay, Illinois writes:
"I really like that picture of Shaquille O'Neal being attacked by machetes. Can you possibly post it over and over?"
Yes, absolutely. I'll be incorporating that picture as often as possible. I'll even post it when it's not at all appropiate.

Proclamation!!

In an effort to change the English language, from now on whenever the phrase "there is more than one way to skin a cat" would be used, it will be replaced with "there is more than one way to hack a Shaq." Surely the change will spread like wildfire and become the preferred method of indicating that there are multiple ways of completing a certain task.

More of-Less of #1

More of: Girls in Men's Clothing

Now, don't go jumping to conclusions, this is not gay. I'm just saying that when women are wearing men's clothing they instantly become about 10-15% hotter. I'm not talking about scary lesbians trying to look butch, I'm talking about a normal somewhat attractive girl that happens to be wearing well-fitted men's clothes.This applies to just about any type of men's clothing within reason. The casual guy's outfit of jeans and T-shirt looks great. As does the most formal outfit of a dress shirt. Even men's hats look great. Nothings sexier than a girl in a baseball cap, a Top Hat, or a bowler. I think this is so for three reasons:

1. When a normal heterosexual guy is scanning a room he subconciously assumes that anyone wearing what he would consider men's clothing to be ...well repulsive. But if someone wearing manly clothing has a feminine face than it is instantly noticable. In fact, in comparison to other people wearing those clothes, that face will be particularly attractive. In other words, women in men's clothing face easier competition because they're normally competing against men.

2. Say a girl shows up to a fancy party in a suit and tie. Not only does she look better than anyone in that outfit, but she is obviously a little...insane. Insane is good. Acting insane is sexy. Actually being insane, however, is not. This is because guys want women who can be crazy, but not ones that actually are. Showing up in a guy's outfit shows that you can be crazy while acting normally at a party shows a guy that you're not actually a basket case.

3. Guys wear guys clothing because they think it looks good. They appreciate other guys who dress well and admire their sense of style. If a girl has a good and similar sense of style they will appreciate that as well. I have to say that about 50% percent of skirts girls wear look terrible, about 10% of blouses look ridiculous, and 90% of women's shoes are comical. By wearing the tried and true outfit of a guy, he cannot criticize what he himself is wearing.

I'm not saying that women shouldn't dress in a feminine manner. Women's clothes can look good too. My point is that wearing guys clothes is an easy way to look hot.

Less of: Girls Gone Wild Commercials

I will never be able to fully appreciate the steel drum. Now at first, these commercials were great. Each break, in between the McDonald's and Coca-Cola ads, there was chance that you could catch a glimpse of hot chicks strutting around with fuzzed out private parts. I have no complaints about that. However, after years of constant advertising they have become the most annoying thing on television (except censored re-runs of Sex in the City). They have de-sensitized the public. Now every time I see them I just become angry at my entire gender and feel a little creepy. Are there guys actually buying these videos? First of all, as anyone who's actually seen these videos knows, they are extremely boring. You would think that girls flashing a camera would never get old...but you obviously haven't seen one of these videos. And secondly, if you want to see naked girls...just go ONLINE. Have you ever heard of the internet, the greatest collection of pornography in the history of civilization?

Correction

A loyal reader of this site has informed me that if you try hard enough, perhaps by clicking on the link a couple hundred times, you might get through to the "Kazakh 10." I would highly recommend doing so.

Unbelievable

It seems that the millions of fans of this site have somehow crashed the "Kazakh 10" servers. They simply were not prepared for such an explosion of interest in their list. I guess that's the fate of anything that appears as a link on a website as popular as this one. Sigh...With great power comes great responsibility.

Attention!!

Tomorrow will be the first installment of "More of-Less of." In this groundbreaking series I will contemplate things that I would like to see 'more of' and 'less of.' In what will soon be a weekly ritual performed by millions across the globe, you will be able to enjoy a new edition every Thursday.

Big News!

Yes, this site, only after one day, has already made the Kazakh 10! For those unfamiliar with the Kazakh 10, it is a independently run research council that catalogs the top 10 most popular sites on the internet. Like most 'top 10' agencies, it is headquartered in Kazakhistan for obvious reasons including that country's rich tradition of listing stuff. To see the complete list, go to: www.Kazakh10.co.kzk


Now, where did the site rank, you might ask. Well, let's put it this way...here are the top 3:


3. Google
2. "The Greatest Thoughts Ever Contrived"
1. This: Moskau

I don't know what's more remarkable, that this site reached the top 2 in merely 1 day or that it isn't number 1. Obviously, language limitations have prevented this site from totally dominating the list. The number 1 site, however, (brilliantly I might add) uses the international language: gibberish.

But there is no reason to be concerned. As I type this, many of my followers are already translating this site into every language in the world except French (pompous), Thai (bastards), and English (I hate Londoners). Already one can find translations flooding the internet in other 30 languages. It is only a matter of time before this site will claim the number one spot. I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate myself.

After only 15 minutes my blog has already attracted nearly 3 million views. I cannot say I'm surprised. Undoubtedly the anticipation for this blog has been building for centuries. I would recommend to all my followers to keep a note pad to write down verbatim everything that appears on this site. I do so for three reasons:


1. To truly understand my every word will require rigorous analysis. Perhaps some of my ideas will not be fully appreciated until years, decades, or centuries after my death.

2. You never know when you need to be brilliant. Imagine if you were at a party, taking a test, or simply going for a jog and you did not have access to the internet to quickly refer back to this page. This is why I recommend carrying the notebook at all times. This includes while driving, taking a shower, or sleeping. Also, make sure the notebook is waterproof.


3. It is only a matter of time before the popularity of this page is perceived by those in charge to be a threat against their power. I cannot promise that my blog will be accessible after it has been shut down by a new Patriot Act. I do offer one word of advice to my future repressors: you reap the seeds you sow. If you shut down this site, you are only beginning the revolution that will make you the first against the wall.

Prepare for the most amazing blog ever made in the history of man or womankind. Its insights will perplex you, its observations will haunt you, and its existence will frighten you. Yes...it's here: The most highly anticipated blog in the past 2...no 3 decades.

"The Greatest Thoughts Ever Contrived" will revolutionize the way blogs are made. It is perhaps the biggest innovation to the internet since the steam engine or velcro. I advise all who have stumbled upon it (perhaps by googling the word septuplets in the futile search of some thrill in the barren landscape that we once called "the web") to bookmark and constantly refer back to this page. I've given you my warning.