Bi-Mon-Pan-Dis-SIT-Comm

(Mao Zedong and Abigail Adams begin scene, sitting in a rustic diner)















[Applause]

Mao: This tea is awful...Hey Miss...miss...could we have the check...thank you.
Abigail: I don't know, I think green would look better in the bathroom.

(Enter Death)

Death: So, what are you guys up to?
Abigail: Not much.
Mao: We're drinking reactionary tea.

[Canned laughter]

Death: I'm exhausted, I just had a terrible day.
Abigail: It must be draining having to kill people all day.
Mao: It's not so bad.

[Canned laughter]

Death: No, it isn't that. I was trying to help out Nixon after that whole thing when he caught her with solid snake.
Abigail: Oww...how's he holding up.
Death: Not well...not well at all. Let's just say he's been doing a lot of plumbing. We should take him out somewhere. How about we throw a party or something?
Abigail: A party for what?
Death: I don't know...say it's Mao's birthday or something.
Abigail: Alright, that sounds good.
Mao: Why bother, Nixon is such a loser. Why don't we just ditch him. We could pick up a new president... Maybe Coolidge has some free time now.
Death: I was worried you were going to say Gerald Ford, which would have been in bad taste.
Mao: Speaking of bad taste, can we get a check here please...geez the service here is terrible.
Death: You have to know the owner...Hey Socrates...give us the bill asshole.
Socrates: Who are you?
Death: hehe...always the kidder. Just put it on my tab...God that guy's stupid. Let's just go before that angry lumberjack gets here.
Abigail: It seems like he's always here.

[Exit Death, Mao, and Mrs. Adams]
[Enter Angry Lumberjack]

Socrates: Where am I?

[Enter Machiavelli]

Machiavelli: This is terrible. It's not even remotely funny. Is it even supposed to be? Most of the "jokes" are just vague historical references. We'll never do this again. At least we got a girl involved though.

End scene

Stay Tuned for next week's installment of Bi-Mon-Pan-Dis-SIT-Comm