Bi-Mon-Pan-Dis-Comm #2

Well, as we all know, starting next year the Democrats will have control of both the House and Senate for the first time since 1994. How will they deal with President Bush? Will they really reform Washington? What will happen in Iraq?

To answer these questions, and some others I've assembled a team of pundits, analysts, and specialists. Let's introduce them first:

Dick Cheney (Republican)
Vampire







Mark Foley (Democrat)
Internet Enthusiast












The Grim Reaper (Independent)
Death












Nikita Khruschev (Communist Party of America)
Soviet Premier, Stamp Collector, Son of Ukrainian Peasants













Sir Galahad (Independent)
Knight of the Round Table, Achieved the Holy Grail, Good Listener












Galactus (Galactic Republican)
Devour of Worlds













Machiavelli: Alright, so let's get started. Let's begin with Mr. Cheney. Now I'm sure you have a lot to say about the election that happened a few weeks ago. Let's start with the situation in Iraq. The day after the election, Rummsfeld was forced to resign. Do you think that was the right decision?

Cheney: We're going to kill them all! Everyone last one of those f*ckers. Drink their blood and nuke the towelheads. Goddamned...goddamend ahh...eat those sand n

Foley: What the hell is wrong with him.

Cheney: (Foams at mouth)

Death: Jesus Christ, he's lost his mind.

Galactus: I don't think he is a good representative of our party.

Machiavelli: Let's just pretend that never happened. Let's move on to Mr. Krhuschev. (Cheney begins to slam head into table) Do you have any insight on such a reversal of fortune for the Republicans?

Khruschev: We shall bury you. The Soviet motherland has entered a period of full-scale construction of communism along a wide front of projects. The capitalists will soon collapse under the weight of their own exploitation...

Death: And what is he talking about?

Foley: I think he's building himself into a frenzy.

Khruschev: (Bangs shoe on podium)

Galahad: That's kind of a wierd accent.

Death: Not really. He was raised in Ukraine.

Machiavelli: Who cares. So far, this is not going well. What about you Foley? (Cheney falls over exhausted). Since you may have been a part of the Republican's fall from grace, (Khruschev raises voice: "The future is socialism. The era of greed..." Machaivelli raises voice and throws pen at Khruschev) you certainly must have some relevant insights.

Foley: Well I

Galahad: Hey, Death...did you see those pictures of Britney Spears?

Death: Yeah. What the hell is up with that. Frieking crazy. At least we know she sh

Machiavelli: Alright, alright. Please stop the interruptions you too. Let's just stick to the topic.

Khruschev: (starts to loosen pants) We must strive to accelerate progress in both agriculture (now has a cuckoo clock in his hand for some reason) and industry. Without which we (now puts clock inside his pants...) will be vulnerable to...

Foley: Can I please answer the question?

Galactus: (Eats committee except for Death...because...well...you can't eat Death...also Machiavelli was taking a bathroom break or something.)

Death: Well, I'm glad that's over.

Machiavelli: So am I.

Death. Can I go home now.

Machiavelli: Sure. To Norway, right?

Death: Huh? Oh yeah...to Norway.

Machiavelli: This is definantly the last one we're doing.

Stay tuned for next week's installment of Bi-Mon-Pan-Dis-Comm.