Conspiracy Consensus #1

One of the respondants to this site, as you may have noticed took exception to some, what I aknowledge as cryptic, comments I made. He asked if the photograph of the sniper cat was "the shooter who shot JFK." I replied, "No, that is the cat that shot JFK." To which, he retorted, "I said shooter that shot JFK, not person." ...Such naive simple-mindedness.

Apparently, that reader of this site does not know the whole story of the JFK assasination. You see, I identified the picture as the "cat that shot JFK" because there were several snipers, a cat amongst them. Thus, it makes no sense to ask if it was the shooter.
It has been proven, without a shadow of a doubt that the JFK assasination was organized and carried out by a number of individuals. Calling themselves PETA, the guerilla group succesffully orchestrated perhaps the largest conspiracy in American History. Numerous theories have been suggested as to why this group would go so far as to kill the president. Only by knowing all involved can one come to a coherent conclusion:

Webster the Cat: Marine, trained in long-range riflery. Shot the majic (with a j) bullet.








Sir Thomas Skidmore: Her Majesty's Airforce. The giraffe that can be seen behind the grassy knoll.















Lippi "Dalmation" Scaloni: Boyhood friend of Webster. Suspected links with the mob and Hoffa.










Luis de la Cuesta: Cuban exile. Angry at JFK because of Bay of Pigs.







Snowball: Not as angry about the Bay of Pigs, but thought JFk was trying to overthrow his Animal Farm









Goose McCallister: Wealthy Businessman (umm...businessgoose), who stood to make millions from the Vietnam War.














Kitty Thompson: Cathouse Owner. "Friends" with Lee Harvey Oswald. May have organized Oswald's killing. Committed suicide in 1965.






Alf the Alpaca. Alpaca. Double CIA Agent Working for the Soviet Union. Had Business Dealings with Richard Nixon and Robert Kennedy.






George Potzowitz: Trained in tank tactics. Possibly explains the tank shells found in JFK's body during the autopsy.








Well, I think it's plainly obvious what really happaned. Look through the looking glass people. Let's just say it was no coincidence that relations between animals and man would never be the same.