Some bad news for you, some good news for me...
As it turns out, this site has not generated as much revenue as I would have hoped/ based my estimated level of acceptable gambling losses. Thus, I have decided to turn to advertising. I auctioned off space on this site to the highest corporate bidder.
Several large multinational companies attended the auction with the hope of reaching one of the most reliable audiences on the internet. For a weekly post, the bidding started at $50,000. Amazon opened the bidding, but Nissan quickly pushed the value up to $60,000. Google, Nissan, and General Electric got into a bit of a bidding war, which caused the value to raise to $85,000. At $87,000, Google was one count away from winning when suddenly, out of nowhere, a representative from Pilsbury Enterprises put in their own bid for $10 gazillion! After informing the firm that gazillion wasn't a number, they wagered $10 million. Everyone in the room groaned. A bidder from IBM complained, "He always pulls this sh*t. Why did we even come here if he was going to do this nonsense." When asked to comment on why the company had bid far and above what was necessary to win the spot, the representative (obviously the Doughboy with a stupid fake mustache) replied, "Who what what in the what where?"
Well, I'm not going to complain.
Apparently, Pilsbury Enterprises is going to use the spot for weekly diaries of their CEO in his travels around the world. I don't know how this will help sell products, but, well, I'm not going to complain. The company also demanded that they take a spokesman from this site on the journeys to help boost interest. Since he and I are having a tiff, I decided to send Death.
Anyway, stay tuned for the new weekly feature. Here's the graphic, by the way:
...I'm sorry.
Several large multinational companies attended the auction with the hope of reaching one of the most reliable audiences on the internet. For a weekly post, the bidding started at $50,000. Amazon opened the bidding, but Nissan quickly pushed the value up to $60,000. Google, Nissan, and General Electric got into a bit of a bidding war, which caused the value to raise to $85,000. At $87,000, Google was one count away from winning when suddenly, out of nowhere, a representative from Pilsbury Enterprises put in their own bid for $10 gazillion! After informing the firm that gazillion wasn't a number, they wagered $10 million. Everyone in the room groaned. A bidder from IBM complained, "He always pulls this sh*t. Why did we even come here if he was going to do this nonsense." When asked to comment on why the company had bid far and above what was necessary to win the spot, the representative (obviously the Doughboy with a stupid fake mustache) replied, "Who what what in the what where?"
Well, I'm not going to complain.
Apparently, Pilsbury Enterprises is going to use the spot for weekly diaries of their CEO in his travels around the world. I don't know how this will help sell products, but, well, I'm not going to complain. The company also demanded that they take a spokesman from this site on the journeys to help boost interest. Since he and I are having a tiff, I decided to send Death.
Anyway, stay tuned for the new weekly feature. Here's the graphic, by the way:
...I'm sorry.
posted by Machiavelli | 3:12 PM
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