The 150th post classics
Yup...this is the 150th post for the site. I think the best way to celebrate would be to take a look back at some classic posts...(yes, I think it's time for a flashback episode)
1st, the initial installment of Bi-Mon-Pan-Dis-Comm:
<<<
Prof. Hajib Mushra Jackson, Jr.
University of India. Syndicated Columnist for The Onion, New York Times, and Stupid Looking Guys Monthly.
Dr. Strange
Arrogant Neurosurgeon, Master of the Mystic Arts, Constantly Alluding to Things, Master Illusionist
Rawpurt Issa Mooreon
Local Idiot
Grim Reaper
Death
Now on to the discussion...So what do you guys think of Halloween? Do you have any good expriences you'd like to share with the site?
Hajib: Halloween is one of the great American Holidays. It was first practiced by Native Americans in the 1930s to scare away demons. It was than taken up by Irish prostitutes living in Alaska. They would go door to door dressed up as sexy maids, devils, witches, tortillas, or what have you and ask for money (Treats) in exchange for sex (Tricks). They would say "Treats for Tricks." Eventually this would become the modern version of Halloween.
Machiavelli: Interesting. Also very not true. Any experiences?
Hajib: Oh yes! One time my friends and I dressed up as that guy from scream and--
Grim Reaper: This is boring.
Machiavelli: Yeah, I agree. This is a complete waste of time. Let's go on to someone more interesting...how about you Dr. Strange?
Dr. Strange: Halloween!! Ay yes. Ye see, once a year, the portal of absolute darkness opens and enters the world we call light...
Grim Reaper: Ye? wtf
Dr. Strange: (coughs to indicate he thinks the Grim Reaper is rude) so as I was saying...darkness overcomes thou light and ignites to once again become the sarrow of all...
Grim Reaper: thou light? what is this guy talking about? And why does it get so dark when he talks. Could someone turn on the light?
Machiavelli: Death, could you please stop interrupting. However, you're right, Dr. Strange clearly doesn't know what the hell he's saying. Hey! where's my watch?
Dr. Strange: Aww...one of the many illusions that you may come across this glorious Halloween.
Grim Reaper: How can Halloween be glorious??
Machiavelli: Let's move on... How about you Mooreon?
Mooreon: Eeep...snigget. Lobster4 fetish?
Machiavelli: Hmm...why did I include him in this?...Anyway...how about you death, surely you must have some great stories about Halloween.
Grim Reaper: Sorry, never heard of it.
Machiavelli: Never heard of it? How is that possible? You're...death. You practically define Halloween.
Grim Reaper: Sorry, I'm Norwegian... We don't do the whole Halloween thing in Norway.
Machiavelli: Alright, that's it. Panel discussion is over. I hate all of you. I apologize to all my readers. This will never be done again.
Grim Reaper: But you said we could discuss cookie recipes next week...
Dr. Strange: And what about my pants eating trick.
Machiavelli: Nope it's over. End of Panel...(How is eating pants a majic trick?)
>>>
2nd...well, why not post the 2nd post??
<<After only 15 minutes my blog has already attracted nearly 3 million views. I cannot say I'm surprised. Undoubtedly the anticipation for this blog has been building for centuries. I would recommend to all my followers to keep a note pad to write down verbatim everything that appears on this site. I do so for three reasons:
1. To truly understand my every word will require rigorous analysis. Perhaps some of my ideas will not be fully appreciated until years, decades, or centuries after my death.
2. You never know when you need to be brilliant. Imagine if you were at a party, taking a test, or simply going for a jog and you did not have access to the internet to quickly refer back to this page. This is why I recommend carrying the notebook at all times. This includes while driving, taking a shower, or sleeping. Also, make sure the notebook is waterproof.
3. It is only a matter of time before the popularity of this page is perceived by those in charge to be a threat against their power. I cannot promise that my blog will be accessible after it has been shut down by a new Patriot Act. I do offer one word of advice to my future repressors: you reap the seeds you sow. If you shut down this site, you are only beginning the revolution that will make you the first against the wall.
>>>
And finally...here's a trailer for The Greatest Thoughts Ever Contrived: The Movie...
<<
1st, the initial installment of Bi-Mon-Pan-Dis-Comm:
<<<
Prof. Hajib Mushra Jackson, Jr.
University of India. Syndicated Columnist for The Onion, New York Times, and Stupid Looking Guys Monthly.
Dr. Strange
Arrogant Neurosurgeon, Master of the Mystic Arts, Constantly Alluding to Things, Master Illusionist
Rawpurt Issa Mooreon
Local Idiot
Grim Reaper
Death
Now on to the discussion...So what do you guys think of Halloween? Do you have any good expriences you'd like to share with the site?
Hajib: Halloween is one of the great American Holidays. It was first practiced by Native Americans in the 1930s to scare away demons. It was than taken up by Irish prostitutes living in Alaska. They would go door to door dressed up as sexy maids, devils, witches, tortillas, or what have you and ask for money (Treats) in exchange for sex (Tricks). They would say "Treats for Tricks." Eventually this would become the modern version of Halloween.
Machiavelli: Interesting. Also very not true. Any experiences?
Hajib: Oh yes! One time my friends and I dressed up as that guy from scream and--
Grim Reaper: This is boring.
Machiavelli: Yeah, I agree. This is a complete waste of time. Let's go on to someone more interesting...how about you Dr. Strange?
Dr. Strange: Halloween!! Ay yes. Ye see, once a year, the portal of absolute darkness opens and enters the world we call light...
Grim Reaper: Ye? wtf
Dr. Strange: (coughs to indicate he thinks the Grim Reaper is rude) so as I was saying...darkness overcomes thou light and ignites to once again become the sarrow of all...
Grim Reaper: thou light? what is this guy talking about? And why does it get so dark when he talks. Could someone turn on the light?
Machiavelli: Death, could you please stop interrupting. However, you're right, Dr. Strange clearly doesn't know what the hell he's saying. Hey! where's my watch?
Dr. Strange: Aww...one of the many illusions that you may come across this glorious Halloween.
Grim Reaper: How can Halloween be glorious??
Machiavelli: Let's move on... How about you Mooreon?
Mooreon: Eeep...snigget. Lobster4 fetish?
Machiavelli: Hmm...why did I include him in this?...Anyway...how about you death, surely you must have some great stories about Halloween.
Grim Reaper: Sorry, never heard of it.
Machiavelli: Never heard of it? How is that possible? You're...death. You practically define Halloween.
Grim Reaper: Sorry, I'm Norwegian... We don't do the whole Halloween thing in Norway.
Machiavelli: Alright, that's it. Panel discussion is over. I hate all of you. I apologize to all my readers. This will never be done again.
Grim Reaper: But you said we could discuss cookie recipes next week...
Dr. Strange: And what about my pants eating trick.
Machiavelli: Nope it's over. End of Panel...(How is eating pants a majic trick?)
>>>
2nd...well, why not post the 2nd post??
<<After only 15 minutes my blog has already attracted nearly 3 million views. I cannot say I'm surprised. Undoubtedly the anticipation for this blog has been building for centuries. I would recommend to all my followers to keep a note pad to write down verbatim everything that appears on this site. I do so for three reasons:
1. To truly understand my every word will require rigorous analysis. Perhaps some of my ideas will not be fully appreciated until years, decades, or centuries after my death.
2. You never know when you need to be brilliant. Imagine if you were at a party, taking a test, or simply going for a jog and you did not have access to the internet to quickly refer back to this page. This is why I recommend carrying the notebook at all times. This includes while driving, taking a shower, or sleeping. Also, make sure the notebook is waterproof.
3. It is only a matter of time before the popularity of this page is perceived by those in charge to be a threat against their power. I cannot promise that my blog will be accessible after it has been shut down by a new Patriot Act. I do offer one word of advice to my future repressors: you reap the seeds you sow. If you shut down this site, you are only beginning the revolution that will make you the first against the wall.
>>>
And finally...here's a trailer for The Greatest Thoughts Ever Contrived: The Movie...
<<
posted by Machiavelli | 12:57 AM
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