The 200th Post Extravaganza

Spiderman: Good evening everyone! This is Spiderman along with legendary sportscaster John Madden, bringing you all the excitement and anticipation that is "The 200th Post Extravaganza." [cheers from the crowd]

Of course, we're not allowed into the actual party, but we can report to you as more important people than us enter the concert hall.

What are you looking forward to tonight, John?

Madden: I'm just waiting for that Turkey to get here.

Spiderman: Yeah, I know what you mean...wait...Turkey?

Madden: It has four kinds of glazes. They actually inject honey into the turkey while it's still alive.

Spiderman: That's disgusting...and needlessly cruel...and why did you even bring it up?

Madden: I haven't eaten since dinner.

Spiderman: We just finished dinner. Do you think about anything besides elaborate poultries?

Madden: Of course...I love ridiculously complicated and decadent steaks as well.

Spiderman: Alright, alright...I set myself up for that one...before we spend the whole night talking about you eating, let's actually spend some time concerning the festivities...And what great timing! Here's Solid Snake! [Cheers..Solid Snake gets out of limo and waves to everyone] We haven't seen him in a while, have we? I wonder what he's up to...Let's go down to our new Centpostial correspondant, Donald Rumsfeld.

Rumsfeld: Sorry, he won't talk to me.

Spiderman: Oh...ok. We'll just have to wait until someone else comes along then...

[pause]
[Spiderman lets out short sigh]
[23 seconds later, Spiderman scratches his mask]
[5 seconds later, Madden takes a bite out of a chicken leg...I thought he was getting Turkey?]
[15 seconds of Rumsfeld just standing there...smiling]

Spiderman: Did you see my movie?

Madden: Oh no...not yet anyway.

Spiderman: Oh. [mumbles:] everyone in the whole country saw it but you, huh...you could at least pretend to have seen it...it wouldn't be hard...it's all pretty much the same story...nerdy Peter Parker overcomes some stupid relationship problem with Mary Jane while fighting a ridiculous radioactive villain with little character development...

Madden: [takes bite out of steak] huh?

Spiderman: nevermind

[another pause]
[camera goes to Rumsfeld...who's still smiling]
[20 more seconds]

Spiderman: Is that...? no...nevermind.

[15 more seconds]

Spiderman: ok, we're going to go to a bre--wait, no! I don't believe it! Machiavelli has arrived, ladies and gentlemen [uproarious cheers]!
Well, he's the guest of honor and the main attraction. This is really exciting. It is his genius that has brought this whole site together. Hopefully, Rumsfeld, can we get an interview.

Rumsfeld: [grabs earpiece to better hear over the cheers] What's that Spidey?

Spiderman: I said, can we get an interview?...and don't call me Spidey...Rummy

Rumsfeld: Nope.

Spiderman: Nope? What do you mean nope? You are completely incompetent.

Rumsfeld: What's that Spidey?

Spiderman: Oh, shut up you idiot.

Madden: Machiavelli has that dominance on the field that all great players have. [show clicker] Here he is, getting out of his car...and watch...boom! right out of the car...look how quick he gets...boom!...

Spiderman: Great he's talking crazy again...luckily someone else has approached the red carpet...it's!...it's!...oh...it's Dr. Strange [boos all around]. Who cares about him?

Rumsfeld: Spidey...umm...Spidey.

Spiderman: Yes,...Rummy?

Rumseld: I was finally able to get an interview.

Spiderman: Goddamit...Donald Rumsfeld, former Sec. of Defense who's partly responsible for the insane war in Iraq, you are an idiot.

Rumsfeld: So, Dr. Strange, what have you been up to lately?

Dr. Strange: I have been patroling the astral plain looking for the lost washcloth of the Persian Demon, known as Scaldma. By using the sink of justice I was able to--

{This presentation has been interrupted by an important announcement: This is stupid. It is actually technically the 199th post...stay tuned for THE 200th POST EXTRAVAGANZA!}