The Return of the Doughboy

It's the Return of the ..."Oh, wait, no way, he didn't just say what I think he did he?"
And Machiavelli said...nothing you idiots! Machiavelli's dead, he's locked up in my oven!
Feminist Women love Pop'n'Fresh:
"Pillsbury, I'm sick of him. Look at him, bouncing around, wearing that you-know-what, cooking the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so insane though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose. But no worse, then what's going on in your parents' kitchen.
Sometimes, I wanna get on the Stove and just let loose, but can't, but it's cool for Machiavelli to Diatribe all day.
'Democrats this...Republicans that...And if I'm lucky you'll vote for me'
And that's the message that we tell all our bloggers
And expect them not to know what a voting machine is
Of course they gonna know what the electoral system is by the time they hit 4th grade.
They got CSPAN don't they?

But if you cook like I cook, I got the ingredient, Chefs wave your spatulas, sing the chorus, how does it go?:

Cause I'm Pop'n'Fresh, yes I'm the real Doughboy
All the other Doughboys are just imitating
So won't the real Doughboy please hop up,please hop up, please hop up?


Cause I'm Pop'n'Fresh, yes I'm the real Doughboy
All the other Doughboys are just imitating
So won't the real Doughboy please hop up,please hop up, please hop up?

---

Did you like it? That was my completely original new song that I totally invented all by myself. Yeah, I know... I am SO cool.

Wow. It's glad to be back. Death and I have spent the last couple of months in my homeland, URAM. We spent most of the time looking for my old elementary school. 3 months later we found out that I never went to school. Boy!, was my face red!

Anyway, we finally left the cooking capital of the world and headed towards our new destination: Asianland.

Asianland is an exciting nation full of exotic people.

Everyone was so nice and not mean to me at all.

The only problem was that everyone was pushy and mean to me. They kept saying things like, "Stop desecrating our crazy temples," and "That's not a spittoon. That's our national flag." WHAT JERKS! The nerve of these Asianlanders.

One thing I should warn everyone about: Bangkok is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, like I thought it would be. Talk about false advertising. However, I must admit that the city inspired a new recipe for me: the Bangkok Biscuit. Death said I wasn't allowed to say what's in it.

Probably the highlight of the trip was seeing the Great Ball. That thing was huge. It's the only ball that can be seen from space...that I know of.

Oh, we also saw the Great Wall. That was a huge disappointment. I don't see why it's so great. These snobby Asianlanders. They call everything "Great" over there.

Another great place was TinyMan square. I don't know why they call it that, but whatever. Apparently, it's the squarest place in the world and is the only square that can be seen from outer space. I guess it was squarey...


To get there we took an Asianland "car." Asianland cars are a lot like tanks in America. They're pretty cool. They're the only cars that can be seen from outer space. Anyway, on the way there we had to stop because this stupid jerk with shopping bags wouldn't get out of the way. I wanted the driver to just run him down, but the driver said that was against the rules of Asianland. What a stupid country.If they had followed my advice they wouldn't have had so much traffic over there.

I was really thrilled to meet up with my cousin, ChinaDoughMan. He met us at the airport, but he couldn't be our tour guide. He was too busy doing math problems or something. I don't know what he said, but i just assume it was math problems. Asianlanders do math problems instead of playing sports...man these Beijing Olympics this summer are going to be SOO boring.

All in all, Asianland was lame. It was the stupidest place we've been to so far. Did you know that in Asianland they worship Elephants. Honest to God, freaking Elephants. That's why I loved it so much. Elephants are so cool, they have these long noses and some people say they have special powers. I can't wait to become a Buddhist!

Next week we'll visit China.