Viva Mexico!

Once again, it's me, Death. The Doughboy is a little sick (I have my fingers crossed that it's cholera) so he couldn't do the post this week.

This week we left the European continent and headed South of our American border to Mexico. I think we all enjoyed the change of pace.

We were met at the airport by another of the Doughboy's cousins, Senor Domanguez. At first I feared that this would be a repeat of the episodes with Monsieur Doughmans, but I actually liked Sr. Domanguez. He was very laid back and he served us these exquisite breakfast burritos. The only weird thing about him (despite being Pillsbury's cousin) was that he always referred to us as "gringos".

Despite Sr. Domanguez's politeness, I must say that the Doughboy was extremely rude. He kept complaining about how "lazy" Mexicans were. Apparently for Pillsbury, "lazy" can be loosely translated as "working all day on construction projects and migrant farm-labor." Also, every time we went on a tour or in a restaurant, he would complain about how nobody spoke English. When I pointed out to the doughboy that Spanish is Mexico's official language, he didn't seem to pay attention.

One of the first places Sr. Domanguez took us to was the magnificent Mayan ruins at Chichen Itza. The whole time the Doughboy demanded that his cousin show us where the "chickens" were. I tried to explain it to him, but I decided it wasn't worth the effort. Doughboy really wanted to go to Cancun. Apparently he wants to start his own "girls gone wild" franchise. He had a video camera and everything. When we told him Cancun wasn't on the itinerary, he just went around Chichen Itza saying things like, "oh yeah, baby," "Take off you shirt," and "this is so hot!" to some Mayan statues. I don't think it's going to sell.

After returning to Mexico City, Sr. Domanguez showed us some well-preserved Aztec ruins. Unfortunately, the Doughboy decided to "desecrate" these sacred areas. In his defense, he was drinking a LOT of Tequila on the way over there. For such a little guy, he can really hold his own.

After that, we returned to the capital and began a Sr. Domanguez led tour of the city. The Doughboy demanded that we find some extremely hot peppers from the main market. Apparently, he wants to include those peppers in a new kind of cookie. As he put it, "I want people to think, 'wow, this is extremely painful and tastes like burning' whenever they take a bite of his "Baja Cookie." Sr. Domanguez warned him "No, senor Gringo. This is not for cookie. You use these peppers for spice...just a little bit...no...no...Senor Gringo you don't put whole pepper in one thing...listen, Senor Gringo...you no put several peppers in one cookie...no,no...this no es bueno." He continued, "Ay caramba...you are very bad...no one wants this...this no es bueno."

This time we did not meet up with any president. Instead, the Doughboy went on a quest to discover Montezuma's gold. This lasted a few hours as he started digging a hole with a shovel in the floor of the hotel. Let's just say we had to quickly find a new hotel very late at night. Also, all that digging made him thirsty. We had lots of bottled water, so there was no need to try the infamous Mexican water. However, the doughboy complained that the bottled water tasted "plastic-ee." I told him to not drink the water from the faucet, so he started drinking from the toilet. At this point, I just gave up.

To make a long story short, the Doughboy is very sick. Me, Sr. Domanguez, and the pilot have some wagers about what disease(s?) he has. My money's on cholera.